Molestation n. the crime of sexual acts with children up to the age of 18, including touching of private parts, exposure of genitalia, taking of pornographic pictures, rape, inducement of sexual acts with the molester or with other children and variations of these acts by pedophiles. Molestation also applies to incest by a relative with a minor family member and any unwanted sexual acts with adults short of rape. The word molestation is heard more often than the words, care, and support when it comes to Black children. 1 in 5 girls and 1 in 20 boys is a victim of child sexual abuse. Self-report studies show that 20% of adult females and 5-10% of adult males recall a childhood sexual assault or sexual abuse incident; I became part of those statistics at the age of 4 or 5.

When it comes down to "stranger danger" that you teach your children a term representative or symbolic of being aware of people they don't know, what is just as prevalent is "family danger" when the culprit is often a hidden family member as young as 12 years old discovering their sexuality. We at some point during puberty seek self acknowledgment that we are either a boy or girl and sex indistinctively becomes a part of that equation to solidify our sexual preferences. All children goes through this but not all are controlled and consumed by it to commit acts against others in the form of sex.

Conclusion: Here is what I know. Trust your children with nobody although family is a necessary evil you still should be cautious. Molestation can springboard from the most unlikely family member who doesn't seem to have a care in the world about sex until that opportune time comes. Many parents will not know it ever took place because that molested child can't quite understand the act especially at age 4 or 5 like I was. It didn't resurface in my mind until I was 10 and I never told any family member until I was 59 years old. Why so late in life, because that is when I got over the shame. Being molested does many things to many people from being over sexed, no sex, gender confusion, to being defensive with others. I was defensive throughout my school years because I needed to be in control around boys and men.

Although it can be necessary that you leave a child with a sibling or a family member, do not leave them with any young boy specifically going through puberty and never ever any teenage boys or adult men. What about girls and women? It still holds true. Let me put it this way. Know your own children or family members to determine if they are a culprit or victim. Trust your instincts.