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THE COMMON DENOMINATOR OF GOOD MEN IN LONG MARRIAGES

The Civil Writer Magazine

If you look into your circle of friends that have had failed marriages and successful marriages, the failed marriages do not have a common denominator meaning identified features shared by all to say that's the number one cause. The successful ones however do have a common denominator. Now divorce times can vary depending on the unresolved financial, communication and behavior issues of both man and woman. Longevity is not a trait you are born with therefore marriages with 10 to 20 years behind them is the results of good traits in the marriage. Of the six couples in our circle of friends that have been married nearly 40 years there are common denominators among the men and it is not longevity but being family oriented, religious, conscientious (thoughtfulness, good impulse control, and goal-directed behaviors), mild or nondrinkers, educated, and a home body.

Therefore time takes care of itself with these traits. The same can be said for a good women because afterall it is a shared journey. This doesn't mean there are no disagreements or no bad speaking terms because afterall we were raised separately some in single parent homes and some in two parents homes but how much influence it has on a future marriage is undetermined. A marriage is like tetherball, the wife can be the stabled pole which the husband the (ball) is tied to and orbits around the (wife) at various velocities of emotions but if he is one of the men I spoke of that is family oriented, religious, conscientious, mild or nondrinkers, educated, and a home body he will show some stability as he orbits around his wife.